He was working since before I woke up and went to bed right after I got home. He didn't want any gifts just time, and right now I have plenty of that to offer. I feel like my papa-san is getting old, not old old, but older; no more dark-haired daddy. We reminisce a lot about things that happened ten years ago, but always find time to talk about the future too. My dad believes in me and is always instilling life lessons into typical conversation because I think he really missed that as a kid. My grandpa worked six days a week, sometimes seven up until he was in his eighties. He never knew how to teach. I don't think my dad ever played catch, or watched sports, or talked politics with his dad. And I don't even know if my dad's parents ever even said how proud they were of him, or how much he meant to them. And I suppose if you never had that kind of love growing up you wouldn't really feel like you missed out on anything, but I guess eventually you might. I'm pretty sure my dad said that he wondered why on Leave it to Beaver the dad was so nice and always talked to his boys, without ever really scolding them. My grandmother was the enforcer and my grandfather was in a dual marriage to both her and his job. Whatever mommy said, went. However, instead of growing up bitter my dad turned it all into a positive.
He raised me and my brother the way he realized he wanted to be raised. My dad taught me about life, and love, and the wide world of sports, and always helped coached the teams I was on. He wanted to be around, and whether I was a ballerina or a hoopstar he was going to watch his "jenna angel." He told me stories both written and made up, and created a song for me called "i had a girl" which I would always yell at him for singing to me. There are just so many great things about my dad that I often let lay in the depths of my mind when I should keep them in the forefront. Why is it that we allow ourselves to be ungrateful for the many blessings we have had, and the many more that lie ahead?
I'm going to let my heart take the reins from here on out, and just appreciate all that is here right now.
