Life isn't measured in minutes, but in moments

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button was quite the movie. There were a lot of noteworthy lines and moments in the movie that just grabbed your emotions, and for a fantasy, I was left thinking how real it felt. One of my favorite parts of the movie is when Benjamin (Brad Pitt) comes home after one of his excursions and briefly narrates what it feels like to come home. He describes it as being the same, the smells, the sounds, the people...and then you realize what is different...you are. I find that so real and true it hurts. It's like when you first come to the realization that you're growing up, you're moving on, and change is certain. Change in the form of place or people can be very exciting, but it's when your own mortality hits you that you start to question your life and your choices. Who wants to make the wrong choice in a life that while may be long for some is very short for others. Recently, I've been starting to fear moving on in my life, and the vital role that people I know have played thus far in my timeline. I fear years passing between seeing a friend I love, or coming home. Missing people is what keeps me up at night. And when dreams I dream are of people I haven't seen in far too long, I don't like waking up. It's hard to live each moment as if you'll never have it again, because if you did you'd stand still in it while life passes you by. It makes you wonder what heaven is like. Is it a second chance?

thanks gramps

Last year at this time was so much fun. I had one of the best birthdays...21 is a big deal. I went out with the micos from carrabbas, and out with my closest friends from home. Shortly after was Christmas which is exciting yet melancholy when it actually hits. It was the first Christmas without my grandpa Musyt, which also meant a birthday without him. Every birthday of mine was special to him and our family because each birthday marked another year that he was out of Hershey medical center. He almost died when I was born and I'm left wondering how I would never had known twenty years with such a wonderful and fun man. He called me a tuffy from a young age, and a little cowboy when I took him for a drive shortly after I got my license. I would tease him and sing songs, go for walks with him down vaughn st., and catch him when he was sneaking chocolates. The last time I saw him was in a rehabilitation center and he was doing so well. He showed me my dad and brother how good he was at using the exercise equipment. We were sure that he was going to be well again, because he had been through so much worse. He always made it. He was invinsible especially in my brother's eyes. I was the one who had to tell my brother that he died. He didn't believe me.
I didn't want to believe it either but actually telling someone else and hearing yourself say it aloud makes it more real. Not until now did I see the irony of my 21st birthday when my friends took me to Hershey Park. I certainly didn't make the connection then, but now see it as a gift that will remain even more special in my heart.

Victory.

Today I victoriously unscrewed a triangular screw with a flat screw driver.
Wow. That's going in my top ten.

I love being inspired.

How do you define inspiration? For me, it's that sensational feeling that makes you feel empowered; makes your insides stand up, your body and mind tingle with pins and needles that are engraving that moment, that memory into who you will become. I've had many moments like this in my life. My earliest memory of that feeling takes me back to Christmas, to a young age where music by the carpenters and the snow falling outside grabbed a hold of my soul. It's incredible and fleeting. You forget how good it feels to feel good until you are once again taken back into that emotional state. Art does this. And while I've had a hard time trying to put words to why I'm endeavoring on a journey in the arts, I think I've found it. The answer is not in words it's in feelings. It comes from your heart and is more powerful than what your mind tries to define. Dreams. I love that longing and realization that you have so much more to give, that there is still such a beautiful journey that lies ahead for you, even if you can't see it, can't describe it, but you merely believe it. Belief in that higher power. It's religion. It's the searching and searching deep inside yourself for what makes your soul light up inside. Sometimes it takes a whole lifetime to find, and sometimes it is never found. But the belief that it's out there for you, makes the journey just as valuable. You can find yourself in others, in love, in giving. All it takes is a moment to change your life. Maybe all it takes is a stranger telling you "you can" and to believe it.

Tonight I had the privilege of hearing Wintley Phipps perform at Ohio State University. It was as if I forgot how much I love a good performance. How much art- a movie, a painting, a song can impact your life, can give you hope, can remind you that all things are possible. Art, in the most broadest of terms is that creative outlet, without which much of our lives would lack meaning. Art is a release of the soul, and however you take it in is a personal experience between you and the artist. Art has no right or wrong answer. Art is whatever you need it to be for you, but most importantly it is for you. Art is a gift that is given openly and is free. Art is freedom.

Be free.

Happy Halloween

Miss Pomegranate

It all started with a pomegranate tootsie pop and from there it just escalated.
At the store I was confronted by a new orbit gum flavor—pomegranate!
I thought this was the end of the phenomena. But no!
When I got home my mom exclaimed "Jenna I got you a new drink—pomegranate tea!"
Oh and then on the dining room table a postcard from Mike,
and what was on the stamp but a pomegranate!
Pomegranate this pomegranate that!
Either I'm being too observant or the pomegranate gods are trying to tell me something.
Did you miss the pomegranate memo? Well if so let me be the first to tell you
Miss Pomegranate is the new "IT" girl. Watch out!

And apparently there is also pomegranate 7up just fyi.

Tell me all about your latest pomegranate discoveries.

The Secret Life of Bees

There are certain movies that have the ability to touch your heart. Sometimes you know beforehand, and that’s the reason you travel to see the movie, and others are unexpected, an absolute surprise because probably you went in assuming it wouldn’t be any good. This movie was the prior. I knew at the preview that I’d fall in love with The Secret Life of Bees. So I guess you can say I went in with a biased view. I thought the cast choice was great and because I had the preconceived notion that the movie would be wonderful, I never searched for the flaws. Maybe because of this I missed the flaws, but I’m starting to realize more and more that it’s much more enjoyable if you search for the goodness. I appreciated the story, the book was great, and I don’t like comparing books to movies but I thought the interpretation came off very well. It was a great role for Dakota Fanning too. She is just the right age for that part. The vision was certainly there.

The above was written a few days ago.
The below was written today.

I’m kind of mad because my friend Kristen was telling me that Dakota Fanning had the opportunity to also star in My Sister’s Keeper and turned it down because she wouldn’t shave her head. Now who am I to tell a girl to shave her head? Well I guess that’s unfair but nonetheless she should’ve shaved her head or worn a bald cap?! Don’t we have the makeup ability to just fake it? Oh well, I guess everyone has to draw the line somewhere. It’s definitely good to ask yourself what are some things you would never do. Dakota Fanning will never shave her head. But Dakota Fanning will take part in a rape scene. Good to know.
End Dakota Fanning nonsense.

What about Jennifer Hudson?
The news of the murder of her mom and brother, and her missing nephew is beyond words. I was shocked, stunned, appalled. Who could do such a thing? Celebrity or not, no one can come to terms with that magnitude of news. How can you take away someone’s family? Their past, present, and future life? No one has that right. I wanted to say because of this I believe in death penalty, because what other possible punishment can alleviate this situation? But as I am reading and typing this I realize that the death penalty is giving power to someone else to take away a life. Is this the same in essence? I am so torn on this, but it’s hard not to want justice for such an act of violence. It’s hard not to be angered and feel the need to battle crime with punishment. This turned into a political issue…I know but what is right? Ghandi said an eye for eye makes the whole world go blind? Is capital punishment like an eye for an eye? I guess everything just comes down to personal interpretation. It’s worth thinking on though.

To end on a lighter note…
Are regular dvds being phased out? I’m worried.

And I’m sorry that this entry is so compartmentalized.

Next time,
Jenna

Wow, we really do exist!

The first image EVER taken by Google's new Geo Eye high-definition satellite was of KUTZTOWN UNIVERSITY! That's about the most insane thing ever. Everyone on my campus feels like our school has been noticed for the first time. Kutztown is a place! especially if proclaimed by Google and the best image capabilities out there. My car and possibly myself is in that picture. Incredible! More on this later when it all sinks in. However the link to this article is on Kutztown University's home page and you can view the image at http://www.geoeye.com/CorpSite/gallery/Default.aspx or just search for it on Google!

V names

Did you ever notice that people with V names usually go by a nickname?

Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m wrong. But I’ve got a friend named Veronica that goes by Nika. I have never ever once thought of her as a Veronica. In fact I never knew that was her real name until about a year into knowing her. There’s a Victoria sitting in front of me­–goes by Tori. No one would ever ever call her Victoria. Is Tori Spelling a Victoria? I guess. The only Victoria I know sells underwear. There is still something risqué attached to that one. Maybe as a society we try to avoid the letter V, at least when naming things. Currently, I’m doing a poster for the Vagina Monologues at my university, and let me tell you there’s some issues there. Maybe it’s the letter V’s fault.

Advanced Web Deux

Like my image? I found it on the computer I'm working on. Sounds like I'm just learning how to create sentences. This post is great. I love to blog. You should blog too. It would be fun. I like to learn. Learning is cool. This post takes away my credibility as an intelligent college student. It will soon be deleted. For now, it lingers in cyberspace. Enjoy.

Advanced Web

For advanced web class today we're creating blogs at blogspot.

Notice my heading. It is coded with html using a simple head tag. This type uses a paragraph tag.

You're gonna make it after all.

This is courtesy of last year's ad class...a self promo piece. And since this is the first week of senior year I thought it would be an appropriate time for a throwback. The following is basically an essay on how I see myself symbolically.

It’s hard to articulate in words who I really am. I think words are very powerful but to someone who has never met me, my word is hardly a credible source. One can look through a lifetime of photo albums and still not know me but, if I had to present one word to describe myself it would be empathetic. I feel the word empathy is a very deep soulful word. Empathy is so different from sympathy in that you truly try to put yourself in the other guy’s shoes and feel what they are feeling. It is not just feeling sorry; it’s about sharing the sorrow. Empathy involves true understanding, awareness, and sensitivity. Unfortunately often times people associate this word with weakness, and weakness is far from who I am. An image that symbolizes who I am would be tied lace. In all aspects of my life I try to be strong. The knot in the lace represents my mental, emotional, and physical strength. In order to walk out the door without slipping out of your shoes you need to know how to tie a good strong knot that will last throughout your day. The two loops in the lace stand for the balance between my professional life as a student and transversely my personal life. I think it’s understandable that sometimes one loop is bigger than the other, but I always maintain my core knot-who I am. I pride myself in being a very dedicated student and friend. I love being organized and squared away. I’d sooner do too much than not enough. I’d sooner tie a double-knot just to be safe. Sometimes I plan ahead more than I should- but it's because I have high esteem for my future. I find it necessary to always re-examine where I’m at in my life and if I’m headed towards my dreams. Teach me a new way to tie my laces and I will certainly try it but I will maintain my core (knot) principles.

Sometimes laces get overlooked. I know that also holds true for me. I feel I’m a person worth getting to know, but I don’t try to force anyone to know me. I believe in being modest, and I’d sooner hang back and listen to you, than stand up and speak about me. This doesn’t mean that I don’t stand up for what I believe in or cast a vote to make a change. It means that before I make such decisions I hear all sides involved. I put myself in their shoes and exercise my word, empathy. I try to pull both loops of shoe lace to make sure the knot is tight. I draw from my personal and professional experiences when faced with a big decision or change.

The knot on your laces is not made from one side of the lace alone, it is made from a binding of the two. You must understand and except this if you wish to keep the knot tied. Keeping that knot tied is not always easy and it takes effort and practice to know how to make right. Success is a joint effort. Any success I have is not my success alone, but a collaboration of all of those who have helped me along the way. My belief in doing good for others is reflective of this; this is how I put effort into keeping my knot tied, and knowing others. I always try to stay awake in my surroundings and I love learning new things. I believe that any task, favor, or even just a kind word can make a positive impact in someone else’s life. I get enjoyment out of putting money in other people’s parking meters, and writing letters to people just to let them know I care. I really try to keep the peace in my life and in the lives of those around me. I don’t like to cause the problem, I like to solve it. I like being genuine and easy to get along with. I appreciate a really good sense of humor and I generally I listen more than I speak.

A simple shoelace my not seem like a big deal but it still matters very much and in a sense it symbolizes that the little things matter. Anyone can make an impact, even in the small accomplishment like learning how to tie your shoes. I think the problem today is that we get so caught up in our daily routines we forget the simple things in life; we forget to exercise a little understanding and empathy for the other guy. At times I can be a little bit of an uptight person, but I think it’s just because I’m so structured with myself. I don’t believe in failure, and I don’t settle for less than what I know I am capable of. I also get frustrated when I know people around me are not living up to their full potential. i I think in order to achieve greatness you have to be able to see that within yourself first. If you are content with mediocre than that may all you will ever be. Learning how to tie your laces is about not giving up. It is about facing a challenge and conquering it. With each success you build confidence in yourself and find yourself stepping up to the next challenge.

In the next five years I hope to just be a better version of who I already am. I value the person I am at present and I don’t feel like a great change is necessary. By that time I’ll have finished my degree and I hope to be working at a job I enjoy without a great deal of stress—expcept for eustress of course . I haven’t ruled out going back to school for a master’s or doctorate because I know the more knowledge one gains the more understanding they aquire. Knowledge once gained, is something that cannot be taken away and is essential in creating the change you want to see in the world.

My design employs a limited color palette and because of that is bold and easily understood. Even though I normally like to pack a lot of elements into my designs, it’s always simplicity and minimalism that works best in coveying a message that is clear, direct, and clean. I think the symbol may not be well understood at first glance, but that is exactly who I am. You need to look a little closer and find the person behind the picture; you might even need to read a little. In the design I’m using the laces as reminders. They are reminders of what it takes to be a good designer and reinforce the fact that I don’t forget who I am. I tie my laces everyday. I don’t just slip them on. If you slip your shoes on enough the knot gets weak-you forget what it is that makes up your core. I take the time to think about me and to not settle for less.

And if you can’t say it best, say it with a quote.
(give credit where credit is due)

"All your life you are told the things you cannot do. All your life they will say you're not good enough or strong enough or talented enough; they will say you're the wrong height or the wrong weight or the wrong type to play this or be this or achieve this. THEY WILL TELL YOU NO, a thousand times no, until all the no's become meaningless. All your life they will tell you no, quite firmly and very quickly.
AND YOU WILL TELL THEM YES."

Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but by how we react to what happens, not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we bring to life. A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst, a spark that creates extraordinary results.

I will act now. I will act now. I will act now. Henceforth, I will repeat these words each hour, each day, everyday, until the words become as much a habit as my breathing, and the action which follows becomes as instinctive as the blinking of my eyelids. With these words I can condition my mind to perform every action necessary for my success. I will act now. I will repeat these words again and again and again. I will walk where failures fear to walk. I will work when failures seek rest. I will act now for now is all I have. Tomorrow is the day reserved for the labor of the lazy. I am not lazy. Tomorrow is the day when the failure will succeed. I am not a failure. I will act now. Success will not wait. If I delay, success will become wed to another and lost to me forever. This is the time. This is the place. I am the person.
"Do all things with love."
"Treasure the love you receive above all. It will survive long after your good health has vanished."
-Og Mandino

The master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his information and his recreation, his love and his religion. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence at whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing. To him he's always doing both.
-James a Michener

I cannot believe that the purpose of life is to be happy. I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be compassionate. It is, above all to matter, to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all.
-Leo Rosten

trippin the light fantastic.

subtitle: all bottle caps must be removed for the safety of thom yorke.


Wow. Talk about trippy. Thom Yorke is an amazing guy and mirroring his vocals was an insane light show that was non-stop throughout the show. Combined with video and light panels, colors rained down on the stage while glowsticks were constantly pouring into the crowd. The audience, myself included just became entranced in the atmosphere whether it was from the hypnosis of the light show or the clouds of pot I'm not sure. probably both. It felt a lot like Woodstock...or at least how I would imagine Woodstock, but of course on a much smaller scale. My friend Nika and myself did not stray from our island of lawn blankets and gently pushed falling dancers from our space. At times I felt dopey, and dizzy; silly and serene. The ages of our new companions varied. Behind us was a girl of about fifteen with her mom and dad. To our left was couples in their mid-thirties. In front of us, some twenty-somethings, and to our right a bunch of blazed teens.

While watching the show I thought of how it compared to performance art...a happening. Could the same feeling being reproduced in a museum in an installation? No. I don't think you could ever recreate it in an identical fashion. It was once in a lifetime, never to be duplicated the same way again. This might not make sense considering that concerts are essentially a show that is practiced and performed over and over again with the same set list. But the audience, the atmosphere, the sky, the stars, will never be the same. I valued the moment while I was in it, and that's not something that happens very often. Usually it takes reflection on a experience to judge and compare it to others, and then decide how you would rate it in your mind.

Sometimes still, sometimes swaying, you didn't have to know the words to be moved by the songs. This concert fantastic and in case I didn't say it enough...a "trip."













While I'll save it for another entry I think the study of light will always be interesting to me. Some artists spend their whole lives observing and trying to make sense of it. Light can change everything and while I'm currently beginning my website I thought it interesting that for my splash page I chose my abstract light photography.

disturbia

(49 years © jenna palermo 2008)

I feel that my new undertaking warrants a post after I spoke about it a little bit with Brittni. And while my intent was to keep the "assignment" under wraps it doesn't really matter since this blog is fairly unpopular. Don't be swayed by the title of this post, it merely stands because of the fact that that Rihanna song has played about 100 times today alone and disturbia versus suburbia...I don't know go with it.

Anyway this project I'm going forth with is personal. It's about me getting to know me and what I am capable of, and me getting to know people and what they are capable of–I guess. Would you trust a random stranger, a passerby? Would you trust a stranger that wanted to take your picture? If the tables were turned on me I would definitely answer no to both of those questions....but since I'm the one asking them it's an entirely different matter. I recognize the fact that I am a non-threatening looking individual. I don't think I look abnormal or crazy or like a paparazzi out to exploit. I look like a kid taking pictures, and generally that's what I am. I don't really have any intentions other then what I said...getting to know people and getting to know myself by breaking barriers. I'm trying to talk to strangers because I know it's something that isn't easy for me. I want to learn about this big city that I have spent the past 21 years living in. I want to discover something that I didn't even realize I was looking to discover before I leave it all behind.

After one day of this adventure I was surprised at how kind people were to just let me snap a photo and to wish me well with my endeavors. Strange. Strangers. What is a stranger anyway...just someone you've never met? The word stranger has such an automatic negative connotation. A stranger is someone that gives kids candy and lures them into their truck. But that doesn't have to be the case. If you tell someone you are their neighbor you are no longer a stranger to them...yet you still do not know that person any better. However it takes away some of the threat and some of the questioning about what you're walking around aimlessly. If I said, "oh it's just a personal project with the hopes of being enlightened somehow by my surroundings" I think I'd be looked at rather oddly. But if I say "oh I just live down the block and I'm taking photos for a school assignment" the furrowed brow becomes a little more relaxed. Then again, like I said I don't look very threatening in general. It just feels awkward to take someone's picture without their knowledge. It seems invasive. It's someone's personal space. It's a part of them. Some cultures believe that taking their picture is like taking away a part of their soul. It's just something you don't do. I mean would I be mad if I found out some random person had just snapped a picture of me while I was crossing the street? I don't know but these are the questions I've asked myself before I've released the shutter.

For the most part I just see a shot that has an interesting aesthetic, a good composition, a story, and it becomes important for me to have that moment. It's about the individual but it's also about everything else. However, with this project I've decided that most of the photos will not be entirely candid. The subject will know that their picture is taken, because I'm asking their permission and whether or not they choose to pose or stay how they were is up to them. Shots that don't directly involve someone's face are a little different. I really wanted this picture of this girl running out into traffic. It was just a good photo, not something that could be thought about too much before taking the picture. Some have to be instant, spontaneous...or you miss it. As you can see I'm not exactly sure on where I'm going with this. There's not a lot of rules. There shouldn't be, because it would complicate things too much. I want this to fall into place a little bit on it's own. I want it to be a story that tells itself. I'm trying not to ask too many questions other than asking for a photo, because I find it all to interesting on what someone will just tell you willingly. I don't like asking people for their names or ages or anything like that. It's slightly more anonymous. But only as anonymous as the subject wants.

Take this for whatever you choose because like I said this is for me. This is through my eyes. Maybe one day it will be for everyone else, but as for right now just think on these things as I will. The less people you consider strangers the safer this world may be.

Learn. Explore. Grow.

sweet dreams are made of these.

Ok maybe it's because it's getting closer to "back-to-school" time that my mind is already racing with dreams of being late and turning in projects...but the past couple of nights has just been nuts. A few days ago I fell asleep in the living room while watching tv and I had a dream of putting on a powder mineral foundation, only to find it being advertised on tv when I woke up. That's the first time I can actually say I've been aware of television affecting my dreams. So after this I've been making sure to fall asleep in my dark and silent room with no subliminal ads playing in my mind. HOWEVER last night my dream was filled with product placement and one in particular; Febreze Noticeables. While I woke up knowing that Febreze was a real product I couldn't seem to remember if Febreze Noticeables was real, or if I made up the Noticeables part. I remember being mad at the ads for it on tv, because I thought they made no sense, so in my dream I made up a better ad. Immediately after waking up I wrote it down and let me tell you I have a new product idea for Febreze.

What does this all mean? Am I watching too much television? Am I being sent messages from a divine force that need to be spread to the world about products that mask odor and eliminate 99.9% of bacteria from the air? Or have advertisements just gone subliminal?
To be continued...

Hello World.

As you may have heard, Randy Pausch of Carnegie Mellon University passed away this Friday of incurable cancer. He gained recent fame and headlines for his now famous last lecture and the book that followed it. While watching his lecture on YouTube it's sometimes easy to forget that this is a dying man, and however morbid that may be to some people, the person that it should be affecting most, Mr. Pausch has completely accepted his fate and is truly living his life in spite of knowing the outcome. I don't think most people, myself included could be given only a few months left to live and come to terms with it. He decided he had to do what he could to spread awareness on pancreatic cancer by meeting with congress, giving a public service announcements, and most importantly leave a lasting image of himself for his young children.

"Wait long enough and people will surprise and impress you"
His lecture is packed with life lessons, how to find your dreams, and how to help others with their own dreams. Most of Pausch's childhood dreams came true for him, such as experiencing zero gravity, winning large stuffed animals, and working with Disney's imagineers, and that was because he was unrelenting.

I believe too that if you know your dreams and recognize opportunities you can achieve great things. I tried my hardest to think about what I longed for as a child. Did I want to be a doctor, an astronaut, a trapeze artist? No. I wanted to fly in a plane, go to disney world, be friends with mary-kate and ashley, swim with dolphins, toss a pizza, learn to juggle, ride in a hot air balloon, drive across the country with my friends, understand my religion, find true love...Most things simple; most easy to accomplish (minus maybe the last two). As a grew I knew I wanted to make things, to use my hands, to help people. I valued friendships, I was a peace-maker among friends and held on tight to those that despite my efforts drifted away from me. I still do. I'm still learning that some things are not within my control, and not everything can be as neat and tidy as I want it to be. Each day is an experience, a lesson, an imprint. I know I have an insatiable desire to succeed, to accomplish my goals, and to always be striving to do better for myself and for others. While I would like to make an impact on the world, I want to still be able to be happy with just making an impact in my own immediate world.

Passion and knowledge are driving forces that when spread create change, and cause a ripple effect. Randy Pausch proved that. He is one example that did not think his message would spread the way it did, did not think he was deserving of such attention. Success for Mr. Pausch was just in being able to dream big, whether or not all of the dreams came true, and to be able to convey that message to his kids. Live your life regardless of your circumstances. Anyone has the power to be successful in their lives; it's all about how you define success.

It's actually pretty disgraceful.

I came across this quote on TV today and was pretty shocked that this is how some young women of today represent themselves and their gender. Way to go Brooke.

“You know what? I am actually not that much into voting. I think it’s kinda crazy that a woman is running, because I think that women deal with a lot of emotions and menopause and PMS and stuff. Like, I’m so moody all the time, I know I couldn’t be able to run a country, ‘cause I’d be crying one day and yelling at people the next day, ya know?”—Brooke Hogan, when asked who she’s voting for by a potential roommate on her series Brooke Knows Best.

I definitely don't approve of all of the exposure they get in order to make themselves look bad. In a few years I'm sure they're going to see themselves on air and feel pretty stupid about the whole thing. Our society loves this stuff though. It's like we can get enough of it, like fast food and eventually we're going to need a detox of television...just like we needed a mandate against trans fat. Reality television is truly cellulite for the brain and you can quote me on that. Even though we know it's bad though we still can't help but watch the train wreck; seeing others crashing and essentially making us feel better about ourselves. And the other motive of tv is to just make us more materialistic and product driven. Whatever the goal it's not something we should be proud of.

I'm not saying that this is representative of all of young Hollywood, but there are certainly quite a few that are outshining the rest—and not in a good way. VH1 recently aired the 40 dumbest celebrity quotes ever and while I enjoy when they poke fun at celebs just as much as the next guy, they air a lot of the shows that produce those quotes...so I don't know what that really says about them considered most of reality tv is scripted. Here's a few of my favs anyway:

Jessica Simpson - "Is this chicken what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says Chicken, by the Sea"
Tara Reid - "I make Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist"
Paris - "What's Walmart, do they sell like wall stuff?"
R.Kelly - "All of a sudden you're like the Bin Laden of America. Osama Bin Laden is the only one who knows what I'm going through."
Brooke Shields - "Smoking kills, and if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
Britney Spears - "I've never really wanted to go to Japan, simply because I don't really like eating fish, and I know that's very popular out there in Africa."

We both screw people for money.

While watching a movie titled Picture Perfect starring Jennifer Aniston, Jay Mohr, and Kevin Bacon (a movie which should have been straight to tv, but actually was in theaters) I couldn't help but feel like the plot was recycled. After consulting a movie buff friend of mine, I tried to get down to the nitty gritty on movies in which either the male or female pays someone to date them (or should I say pretend to date them).


What do all of these have in common...a few main themes that when put together equal true love.

Exhibit A: Pretty woman. I'm sure there was an older movie that did something similar to this, but as far as blockbusters and movies that my generation is familiar with this is the ultimate pay to play dating movie. And who doesn't love it? Richard Gere landed top-billing and top hooker of Hollwood BLVD. —Julia Roberts! who by the way not only teaches love lessons but also schools Gere (Edward) on how to drive his Lotus. Plus she never forgets to floss! What a classy babe rocking "the boots" or all dressed for a night out at the opera she certainly entertains the best of both worlds...for a price. Obviously we all know the story; Gere pays Roberts $3,000 (which by the way was the working title for the film) to be his lady for the week for various business ordeals and ultimately falls for her.

What is wrong with this idea in general? Well first of all it's giving hookers a lot of false hope. Unless getting "the clap" is a long time fantasy of yours, I don't think the hooker lifestyle is as ideal as Roberts makes it. In the movie Kit (Robert's hooker pal) compares her to Cinderella, who last time I checked wasn't a hooker, and other that than couldn't think of an occasion where love like hers actually happened. Me neither. But it certainly works in movies. And has caused me to rethink the idea myself.

Exhibit B: How to lose a guy in 10 days. While this case is slightly different it still has the same outcome. Here we see both parties involved, Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson using each other as date bait to achieve success in the workplace. While Ben Barry (McConaughey) takes the majority of the abuse, he's got love on the mind for all the wrong reasons. Yet, que sera, sera a round of drinks, some off-key "you're so vain" (with a cameo by Marvin Hamlisch), some silent treatment, and a grand chase scene later our movie ends quite similarly to Pretty Woman; that great final kiss where all is forgiven and love is realized.

Exhibit C: The Wedding Date. The main focus of this movie is Debra Messing trying to make her old flame jealous at her sister's wedding. Kat (Messing) hires the escort-of-all-escorts, basically an advertising/non-street walking Julia Roberts in male form to pretend to be in love with her. Despite trying to use him to help her own self-worth she really gets "shat on" in this movie by her Ex, when she discovers he was secretly sleeping with her sister (Amy Adams). Not only that but Dermot Mulroney (her escort) knew and didn't tell her! Betrayal by the hired help! It's okay once again though, do not fear for the ending of this movie. Mulroney chases after her, tells her off, almost leaves, then comes back (don't even tell me you have to ask what for)...for the kiss of course! True love for a price...but so worth it.

Our lesson: Lying and using someone with or for money is the way to the heart.
I give them all five out of seven deadly sin stars! (Lust, Greed, Wrath, Envy, and Pride.) But if you could convince me how to add Sloth and Gluttony I'd be more than happy to alter my rating.

Peace. Love. And Happiness ever after!
(note to editor: please sub war. hate. sadness.)

Adios lovers!

The Joker got exactly what he wanted...choice.

*caution may contain spoilers*caution may contain spoilers* caution*caution*caution*

The Dark Knight was nothing short of cinematic beauty. And while I could probably write an entire entry on the significance of this poster alone, I'll stick with my review.

While watching the Dark Knight it's not hard to be overcome by your senses and sensibility. Which way do you look? Which wrong do you right? Which life do you save? That was the first movie in a long time that actually put fear inside me, and not cheap fear that a horror picture can give, but one rich with history and intellect.

This may be an off-base comparison—and is certainly not meant to dismantle the integrity of this movie or put it on the same level of—but villainous Joker vaguely reminded me of the villain in the SAW movies. I know I know that may piss some people off but give me a minute on the comparison. What do the two villains have in common? They do not hunt out money or fame, but rather have the goal of the self destruction of people. They allow choice. People killing people. Obviously willing to provide assistance in the matter these villains wanted to see choices being made.

The choice of life and death is one of the greatest villains of all time. What is worse, seeing an unattached villain kill for the sake of killing, or knowing that someone you love chose to save another life over your own? In the movie, this choice of who deserves to live and die is given to a boat full of prisoners and civilians, the Batman, the commissioner, and most importantly the audience. And no, this is not an interactive movie like those choose your own adventure books (which I still think is a great movie concept) but the director certainly had shock value and moral dilemma ever present in my mind. I would never let Batman die—at least not now, and neither did he. Sometimes you need a hero, but other times you need a scapegoat, a reason, a villain.

I actually loved the ending for this reason. The ultimate decision was to do what was right for Gotham, not necessarily what was true. We often give our power to authority and trust that what we are told is what is best for the good of the people and not just one person. Control prevents chaos. When power is given to a troop saturated in corruption, more corruption and evil is sure to follow in its footsteps. What makes it okay? A wrong that needs to be righted is cause enough for violence in most minds. War, exhibit A. I was told at a very young age by a teacher that a single rotten apple can spoil a bunch (her reason for punishing the whole class and not just the one who caused the problem). One loud theater-goer can create a boisterous mass. Once again we are faced with the age-old do two wrongs make a right? Our ultimate will demands goodness, but we are all capable of evil.

City and Colour

Binney & Smith, now officially known as Crayola LLC (as of 01.01.07) will soon be my new place of employment.

Starting in October I will be interning at the Crayola Factory, and I'm already beginning to get that anxious/excited feeling. Crayola is such a huge brand to have the opportunity to work with, and the name alone "Crayola" has 99% recognition in US consumer households, and is sold in 80+ countries worldwide. (http://www.binney-smith.com/)

Current celebrations in the land of Crayola include the 50th anniversary of the 64 box of crayons which debuted in 1958 on Captain Kangaroo. Crayola has also launched 3D sidewalk chalk, color wonder mess-free creative products, color surge markers, and no-drip paint brush pens.

Another random Crayola fact that I never knew was that in 1984 Crayola became a subsidiary of Hallmark Cards. Today Crayola has manufacturing facilities in Easton, Bethlehem, and Mexico City, with sales and marketing facilities in Canada, England, Australia, France, Mexico, Italy, and Spain.

I've heard mixed reviews about actually working for Crayola...Everyone that I've talked to from the design departments have had pretty positive things to say, while others in business and product development have been on the opposing end, and all visitors to the actual Crayola Factory have given absolutely rave reviews about the facility. Overall, I understand that Crayola's main goal is to cater to the consumer with classic products, while still keeping an eye on future development and new discoveries for kids. I expect my experience to be a good one, with lots to learn and most importantly not being afraid of coloring outside the lines.

Soon everyone will be PUREEING everything!

If you don't already know, I'm a big Oprah fan. Maybe not of her personally or her empire on the world, but I think nine times out of ten her show brings up some really good points that should be considered by the general population. Yesterday's show was mainly focused around getting your kids to eat healthy, and while I don't have kids it is still an issue that effects everybody. Jerry Seinfeld's wife, Jessica was on the show to push her new cookbook which is focused around tricking your kids into eating their veggies. Basically she purees a bunch of vegetables at the beginning of the week and throughout the course of the week sneaks the purees into typical recipes like chicken, mac and cheese, and even brownies. I think it's definitely a great idea. I hated vegetables and I'm not going to say it was the cause of my being an overweight child, but it certainly didn't help the matter. Most Americans do not get the correct serving of vegetables daily and our bodies are left processing a lot of chemicals and artificial substitutes that do nothing for us. I still think a lot of people are in denial about the whole issue, but eventually things are going to really bite us in the ass.

Our society used to be based on manual labor, sweat and hard work. Now practically everything we do is sedentary. Maybe the creators of Wall-E aren't so far off. However they didn't show the real problems with such lifestyles being diabetes, heart disease, stroke, high cholesterol and numerous other factors that are onset by being overweight. Look at the increase in obesity and especially childhood obesity we are already facing. Dr. Oz (one of Oprah's regularly appearing physicians) brought up some really good points. Most kids are white kids, and while it sounds funny, he meant that they eat mostly white foods; sugar, flour, bread, rice. He said the reason is that those foods look safe to a child. Children also have a hard time liking veggies because kids have 10,000 tastebuds, while adults have 3,000, and biologically they prefer sweet to bitter tasting foods. Therefore, I'm all about sneaking vegetables into other foods. Besides that, your body processes liquids much faster than solids, meaning your digestive system doesn't have to work as hard. Also why you should thoroughly chew your food before you swallow it! I also picked up a book from the library not too long ago about the Martha's Vineyard Detox Diet, and that is entirely based around pureeing your food, and living on a liquid diet. The purpose is to flush your system of a great deal of impurities, shed pounds fast, and obviously you go to the bathroom a lot–which isn't a bad thing. The diet, while challenging to maintain (in fact your body can't sustain such a diet for more than 21 days according to the book that suggests only staying on it for 7 days unless you really need the full 21) can really do wonders for many people that are struggling with their weight and need a jumpstart. While certain symptoms in the early stages of the diet are flu-like, your system soon regulates and by cleansing your body it even clears your pores.

I don't think people realize that most of our health and body issues are caused by what we eat. Even though that sounds like an easy concept. Our skin would clear up without proactiv, our weight would be under control without so much back-breaking exercise, and as adults we wouldn't have as many health issues to combat. And while many people already feel that the battle is hopeless all it takes is little steps to take back control of your life and stop letting society feed you. Go grocery shopping more than you dine out. Read or watch tv while on a stationary bike. Park in spots that are farther from your destination so you walk more. Stop drinking soda and beverages whose number one ingredient is high fructose corn syrup. Drink 8 glasses of water. Sometimes we think we're hungry when in reality we are just dehydrated. The brain doesn't know the difference. Eat smaller portions every 2 to 3 hours instead of big meals. Don't eat late at night. All easier said than done right? I can vouch for that, even though I know this paragraph is me preaching to the choir.

Which brings me to the image at the top. That's what I ate last night (along with 3 other friends); the Friendly's crowd pleaser, which consists of 12 scoops of ice cream and six toppings. I love sweets and I do feel it necessary to enjoy them now while my body is more young and active (IN MODERATION!). I don't even what to know the calorie count on that, but even so I'm sure it wasn't as much as a few long island ice teas.

Alcohol is also a great contributor to weight gain, especially among college students, but I'm not going to even start on that topic which may be titled empty calories and the full effects of bad decisions.

So let me depart with some wisdom for the wise: Today is all we have to focus on. Even if you were once fat like me, let it go. Be mindful of your past, but don't live in fear. If you are fat now, it's okay. Don't beat yourself up about it, but try setting some realistic goals that will allow you to have a happier, and healthier future. Small steps. And if your not fat at all, just remember you could be fat one day! ha-ha! Keep in mind that the decisions you make in food and in life are what lay the groundwork for your future successes or failures.

Was that too harsh?
Sorry. Just remember if you fall off the horse, don't take too long before you get back in the saddle. It's never too late, don't give up, and all that other happy horse shit!

Peace. Love. And Food,
Jenna

Womyn it's about all of us.

(me, julia [russian], jessica [happy 21st], nikki [spelled correctly], marguerite [you're so red, one day i'll learn to be too], and jill [can't wait to see you at KU])

I'm pretty sure I can't sum up what I experienced last week at the women's leadership institute. But after having been there done that I would definitely recommend anyone who goes to college in PA to look it up and give it a go. Granted, it's not for everyone, but I think it could be if everyone kept an open heart and mind to it. I can talk about my own experience there but it wouldn't mean too much to you. What this place offered was a journey that you took on your own, gave you back what you put in, and told you it was okay to be yourself. Being in the middle of no where was scary, but certainly important to the experience. I may never be able to sit in the woods and reflect on my life while watching day turn into night. I may never be able to really believe that I could be eaten by a bear like grizzly man. I may never fall in love with so many perfect strangers all at once. I was really surprised to say the least with the outcome. All of these women were wonderful human beings. We saw each other's lives in pictures and words, we laughed together, cried together, and just felt the most genuine empathy you could feel for complete strangers. And when we left we were no longer strangers but friends that begged each other to keep in touch, because we knew that what we had experienced (even though it could never be duplicated) should not end here. We were empowered with our inner most being and came to realize we are the future leaders of america, yet we are all one. One group of women that when standing side by side create a movement.

Missing all of you!
<3

Dad's Day

I didn't even get to wish my dad a happy Father's day, but I know that he knows I love him a lot.

He was working since before I woke up and went to bed right after I got home. He didn't want any gifts just time, and right now I have plenty of that to offer. I feel like my papa-san is getting old, not old old, but older; no more dark-haired daddy. We reminisce a lot about things that happened ten years ago, but always find time to talk about the future too. My dad believes in me and is always instilling life lessons into typical conversation because I think he really missed that as a kid. My grandpa worked six days a week, sometimes seven up until he was in his eighties. He never knew how to teach. I don't think my dad ever played catch, or watched sports, or talked politics with his dad. And I don't even know if my dad's parents ever even said how proud they were of him, or how much he meant to them. And I suppose if you never had that kind of love growing up you wouldn't really feel like you missed out on anything, but I guess eventually you might. I'm pretty sure my dad said that he wondered why on Leave it to Beaver the dad was so nice and always talked to his boys, without ever really scolding them. My grandmother was the enforcer and my grandfather was in a dual marriage to both her and his job. Whatever mommy said, went. However, instead of growing up bitter my dad turned it all into a positive. 

He raised me and my brother the way he realized he wanted to be raised. My dad taught me about life, and love, and the wide world of sports, and always helped coached the teams I was on. He wanted to be around, and whether I was a ballerina or a hoopstar he was going to watch his "jenna angel." He told me stories both written and made up, and created a song for me called "i had a girl" which I would always yell at him for singing to me. There are just so many great things about my dad that I often let lay in the depths of my mind when I should keep them in the forefront. Why is it that we allow ourselves to be ungrateful for the many blessings we have had, and the many more that lie ahead? 

I'm going to let my heart take the reins from here on out, and just appreciate all that is here right now.

Hollywoodland of wishes and dreams

Is it true? I'm back from California and I feel like it was all just one motion; one image that waved in front of my eyes. We took Hollywood by storm and I feel like we had to leave just as we were getting warmed up. It was great though you can't not love being surrounded by beautiful mountains and blue skies.
My favorite part was definitely the Getty Museum. I was just as interested in the structure as I was the pieces it contained. It stood alone on a hill that you were brought to by a tram and all sides of the building had beautiful angles and shadows. I loved it. It was really quite peaceful too. Other highlights included Balboa Park, and downtown San Diego, which I'm kind of bummed about not seeing the Jazz Fest. However we did find the coolest hidden mall ever. I think we hit all of the touristy Hollywood hotspots without any celebrity sitings. I'm pretty sure I saw a D-list actor. I still need to figure that out. Oh and Tori Spelling was at Pink Taco, and the hotdog place was continuously bumpin. Hollywood BLVD is all about wigs, hooker boots, and celebrity impersonators. So that was fun.
I can't wait to be a westcoaster!

this one's dedicated to the newlyweds

While this news is old as far as celebrity gossip goes I thought I'd dedicate this post to the newlyweds Beyoncé and Jay-Z.
I am a lyrical gangster myself and despite not trying out for the reality show Miss Rap Supreme I thought I'd post some rhymes for your musical enjoyment.
So anyway without further ado......

gonna drop it like it's hot
i got the beats like mary
you won't see me at the bar
unless im sippin cranberry
juice
this girl aint loose
so step back
or you'll get laid out flat
on your back
like your boy dmx told ya
ima show ya
so what i like it
better treat me real nice
ima classy young lady
i know you tryna play me

mp3 easy as 1-2-3

my mottos fresh ta def
security style
femile, profile, all the while
i'm rollin with big black
i paid'm in big macs
hollachaboyyee
and ima holla back

you seen me in the streets
running
west side
best side
sing it wit me
LV ladies!

i rock the stilett-os
in my chevy ave-o

don't got gold up in my mouff
you know why
no cavities bay-bee
i stay clean
like ya ain't never seen
never will
one of a kind
make ya go blind


that's all i got for now.
but i know it's hot you don't have to tell me.

live the love.

Are you ready for the best damn summer of your life?

So thus far I have made plans every single day since I've been out of school. Today was the first day I started going through old computer files so I can organize and upload them to my external hard drive. I need to get that taken care of because I fear waking up and it being the last day of summer and I will have accomplished nothing (at least nothing schoolwork related). But it has been great. I've seen a bunch of friends that I didn't get to see during the semester, I caught up with all of my high school art teachers, including Mrs. Gaydos! AAND I got to bid farewell to a lovely Carrabbamico—Kristen. Time is just zzoooming by and while I sort of made fun of my dearest Brittni for not knowing the day of the week, I find myself wondering where the weeks are going. If it wasn't for my calendar where I have kept track of the last 11 days since school let out I wouldn't find it hard to think I was in a deep sleep and completely missed them.

Right now I am trying my hardest to get over this cold I have acquired and to rid myself of the flesh-eating disease (as my co-workers call it) that is on my left hand before I head off to California for the biggest vacation of the summer. I'm stoked. Tomorrow I'm off to Target for some crest white strips and spray on tan, so that I can fit in with the west-coasters.
Wish me luck!

J

100 Peace Ideas

Created by Joshua C. Chen and Dr. David Krieger

I purchased this book a while ago because of its design techniques and more importantly its message. Just thought I'd share the 100 peace ideas presented in this book.
Although most are simple gestures they are hard to live by all the time and this book leaves me hoping to lead a better life and leave a mark on this world with action instead of inaction.

1. Be generous with your smiles.
2. Commit daily acts of kindness.
3. Recycle.
4. Walk in a forest.
5. Plant a tree.
6. Be outside.
7. Don't pollute.
8. Live simply.
9. Skip a meal each week. (and donate $5 to support hunger)
10. Erase a border in your mind.
11. Teach peace to children.
12. Write a letter to your President.
13. Study the lives of peace heroes.
14. Demand honesty from your government.
15. Think about consequences.
16. Commit yourself to nonviolence.
17. Support nonviolent solutions to global problems.
18. Speak up for a healthy planet.
19. Demand reductions in military expenditures.
20. Be fair.
21. Be honest.
22. Consider the larger implications of what you do.
23. Sponsor a needy child abroad.
24. Recognize your unique potential.
25. Think of the we, not just the me.
26. Be less materialistic.
27. Be more loving.
28. Empower others to be themselves.
29. Oppose all weapons of mass destruction.
30. Prevent the abuse of power.
31. Work for an international ban on land mines.
32. Pray.
33. Listen to your heart.
34. Help the poor.
35. Fight against militarism.
36. Support the cause of women without power.
37. Help create a community peace park or garden.
38. Commemorate the International Day of Peace.
39. Advocate universal health care.
40. Stand up for justice, even if it means personal inconvenience or suffering.
41. Oppose guns in the home.
42. Be aware of the rights of future generations.
43. Send a note of appreciation.
44. Join an action alert network.
45. Call your mom.
46. Laugh more.
47. Play with a child.
48. Support health, education, and the arts.
49. Help educate the next generation to be responsible.
50. Accept personal responsibility for creating a better world.
51. Sing.
52. Write a poem.
53. Respond to words of peace.
54. Learn about a different culture.
55. Help someone.
56. Ask for forgiveness.
57. Contemplate a mountain.
58. Clear your mind.
59. Breathe deeply.
60. Sip tea.
61. Express your views to government officials.
62. Fight for the environment.
63. Celebrate Earth Day.
64. Think like an astronaut. Appreciate that we only have one Earth.
65. Be constructive.
66. Volunteer time at an after school program.
67. Purchase products that respect the earth's resources.
68. Work in a garden.
69. Change a potential enemy into a friend.
70. Don't tolerate prejudice.
71. Share.
72. Purchase products that support fair labor practices.
73. Be a voice for the voiceless.
74. Tell your friends how much they matter.
75. Say "I love you" more.
76. Let someone else go first.
77. Think for yourself.
78. Walk by the ocean, a river, or a lake.
79. Recognize that all creatures have the right to life.
80. Respect the dignity of each person.
81. Don't hold a grudge.
82. Talk less. Listen more.
83. Adopt or foster a waiting child.
84. Oppose technologies that harm the environment.
85. Lose an argument to a loved one.
86. Forgive someone from your past.
87. Walk softly on the Earth.
88. Appreciate the power of the sun.
89. Speak out for global disarmament.
90. Strive to understand the chain of events.
91. Teach non-violence by example.
92. Ask questions.
93. Spend time in nature.
94. Boycott war toys.
95. Be thankful for the miracle of life.
96. Seek reconciliation in your relationships.
97. Help make a wish come true.
98. Oppose violence in children's media.
99. Keep things in perspective.
100. Act intentionally.

Motivation

There are some great motivational speeches in movies. I was watching Lean on Me today with Morgan Freeman and forgot just how much I love the speeches he gives in this movie. It's all about holding teachers accountable and it really hits the mark in most cases. I also don't think any actor I know could deliver the lines better and achieve that very believable authority.
On YouTube I came across a few of my other favorite motivational speeches in movies including, Gene Hackman's speech in Hoosiers before the regional finals, the speech given in front of the college committee and students by Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman, and a speech given by Mick to Rocky about losing.
Right now I'm watching a commencement speech given by Steve Jobs which is really wonderful. Anything that can reaffirm who you are and convince you how important it is to follow your dreams is something worth while.

I definitely have a great love of old movies.

I have my parents to thank for that.
Right now I'm working on movie trailer for Pillow Talk and I doubt anyone in my class has every heard of it—which is okay. It'll be great to see everyone's reaction. How can you not love two powerhouse actors like Doris Day and Rock Hudson? Staring opposite each other in more than one movie they have great chemistry and are what I consider the original Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks.
This is version one of my project...still needs work.

Knowledge is Power

I'm going absolutely bonkers trying to wrap things up for this semester.
And I do need to wrap them up. In addition to the line of greeting cards I'm working on for class I desperately need to make some wrapping paper, boxes, bags, bows, etc. Then I need to finish my newsletter. I feel like I work on that five hours a day just tweaking it. Anyway it needs to be done now. Then I got my motion graphics and interactive stuff. Yeah. I think I can manage that. I know these jot downs of what I need to get done are really of no interest to anyone but I'm clearing out my mental cavities for now. I'm excited for tomorrow though. Early day, then interview, lab, and work. Whew. One step closer to take-off. SHUWOSH!

Go J. Lo

So this weekend TBS totally outdid themselves. J. Lo x J. Lo= J. Lo (squared) because I can't find the ^2 button. I think I watched about 10 hours of J. Lo madness including but not limited to The Wedding Planner, Selena, Enough, Monster-in-law, and Maid in Manhattan.

This entry needn't go any further because there is more to watch. I'll keep you posted.

Creature Comforts

This stuff is great. Not only does claymation never get old, but it's done so well.
I saw part of this series on tv today and while I couldn't find the exact one I saw I found this one about art which is just as hilarious.

Apparently it started as a short film made in the UK (1998) then an americanized version was picked up by CBS but was canceled after three shows because of poor ratings.
The show received an Annie Award for "Best Animated Television Production" of 2007.
Yesterday, Animal Planet picked it up for the first season, which is what I saw today.

Check it out.


-j

Less is More

When do your possessions start to define who you are?
Whenever I start to feel like I'm relying on "things" whether it be clothing or electronics I can't help but go through my belongings and start to rid myself of the excess.
I think the more possessions you own start to put a price on who you are, and the more you have the more you want, and the things you want turn into things that you convince yourself are things you need. And those things in turn just multiply. I feel like I start to lose sight of what is really important in life. People. The worst part about America is how many people have virtually nothing. So many people are living in poverty and in slums and are working so hard to barely scrap by, and yet anything my heart desires I wind up purchasing for myself. It's selfish. It greed. It makes me feel less than who I am.
It's hard for some people to realize that their happiness is wrapped up in what they have. Sometimes it takes a fire or a flood to give the gift of understanding what nothing is. And while saying that I find that it's still worded wrong. I think just when you think you have nothing the emptiness is from the loss of possessions and it forces you to look at what lies deeper; that which is truly important and certainly not "nothing" but the greatest something you could ever possess. What word could you attach to that true understanding of being—humanity, altruism—the opposite of the ego.
Don't get me wrong many "things" have given me what I consider happiness but I've come to understand that is a very artificial and short-lived happiness. It is not me. All that is artificial and superficial and lives in the mind not the heart. It's best not to mistake this. Many times people try to make what they have into false idols, things they worship, and things that they use to replace or repair that which cannot be permanently altered by an object.
It's hard to give gifts without the intent of the other person's happiness through it. Adults give gifts as bribes, as ways to make up for not spending quality time, as an excuse, a justification, a cop out, and most importantly the gift becomes a gift to themselves; a way to rid guilt.
Gifts as a way of saying thanks for being you can be shown without a price tag, but in society today it's hard to even consider not buying someone a gift an option. You would feel bad if you didn't at least get a little something. It shows you care. I think words can become just as valuable to someone; a letter, a lovenote, some words of gratitude will last much longer than a present. A year after I barely if at all remember what I got someone, and the craziest thing is they probably don't remember either. I think it's horrible when you have so much that you don't even know what you have. With each new thing you gain it's almost as if everything else becomes a little less significant. I find that by taking things away you really add to the value of everything else.
So where does it end? It doesn't. It never will. The best you can do, is well the best you can do. You need to decide what that is. A gift out of true love with no expectations for return or recognition has the potential to be the greatest gift you can give to yourself—a full heart.

i'm ready for summer

There are a lot of positive changes occurring in my life right now.

I'm back to work again which although most times doesn't seem like the best place for me to be anymore is at least providing me with income again. I still miss Sue (my old manager) an awful lot though. That will never be the same.
I got a really supreme internship for next year and it seems like the stars aligned and more good things will come from that.
I'm feel really good about exercising and keep it up I just hope my body goes along with it and starts shaping up.
I'm finally going to be going to California which is amazing and I'm more excited than anything. Besides that I get to go with some awesome people.
In the fall I'll be moving out of my house, and probably permanently because I won't be moving home once I graduate next year.
Little Jenna is growing up. Wow.
Actually I think I've always been a grown-up stuck in a child's body.
Anyway I feel really lucky to be me.

Love on lovelies,
Jennabelle.

The Day's Favs:
Rob & Big
Mohawk paper samples
Mariah Carey
Three Men and a baby/little lady
Laura from Carrabba's for letting me go home early
Harman/Kardon speakers
X-acto knife
Shirley Temple
Sandra Bullock
Alicia Keys
Phi Kappa Phi
Binney and Smith

Gracias to all
and to all a good nite.

jennay

Hollatchaboyyee.

Hey ladies and lovers,

Tonights topic: New maids.
At the ripe age of twenty and one I have decided that marriage may not be in the cards for me. Oh, don't feel sorry or go boo-hooing. I am okay married or not. However, if I truly do not become married will I one day become an "old maid." I would absolutely hate that. The terminology is so dated and so very old maid-ish. I would however be perfectly happy with being called a "new maid." A new maid is the new black. A new maid is the new old maid. The new maid is okay with singality and is confident, lovely, and charming in her own skin. The new maid doesn't have to be the full blown women's libber, but she can just be her—her to the fullest. The new maid can do everything the old maid couldn't, most importantly to be new and fresh and Dove-campaign-ad-like even when it's no longer popular. Go new maid I may just be seeing you soon!

Adios amigos
Jenna Marie Bonita Louise.

It all started with...
mmm when did it all start? I guess a couple thousand years ago, but I didn't start until 21 years and some odd days ago. Then at some point this whole blogging phenomenon happened and I got suckered into it by school and and my dear heart of a friend brittni brown. how could I say no? I don't know how this is much different from the old deadjournal/livejournal/journaljournal/ thing-but I guess it's just a newer/better/faster craze so why not hop on? Did you know everything out in cyberspace is forever? It's true. I hear there's technology that can recover anything and yes even if you deleted it. How scary is that. So watch what you say and watch your back. That's what I've learned. Oh and watch tv.

Bye
I used to sign everything love always and forever but i think that's kind of lame now.
saying something is lame is popular too. so say that.
I'm glad this is my first entry and doesn't make any sense, but I'm multitasking and talking on the phone at the same time so that makes up for my being incoherent.
How should I end this then? I guess I'll test out some generic sign offs until one sticks.

Best regards,
Jenna